[其他]星际1战役小剧场(全部更新完毕)
原地址：[url]http://www.fiveminute.net/videogames/starcraft.html[/url]这种翻译比正儿八经的小说还难啊……[size=150%]第一季：人类战役[/size][collapse=如果有人想看原文][quote]Gamer: Um... hi?Advisor: Hello, I'll be your borg queen look-alike for the duration of this episode. Any questions Magistrate?Gamer/Magistrate: Sweet! I'm a Magistrate! That sounds important! What can I do?Advisor: You can... er... build three supply depots and a gas refinery.Magistrate: That's boring. Where are the explosions?Advisor: Er... that's what the gas is for.Magistrate: Sweet!Magistrate: Alright, I built your stuff. What now?Advisor: How about training some marines?Magistrate: How about I kick you in the neck?Advisor: N my neck and all body parts below it are no longer attached to my head.Magistrate: I suspected as much.Raynor: Hi, I'm Jim Raynor.Zerg-Infested Command Center: Hi, I'm gross.Marines: Ew, gross! FIRE!Magistrate: Woohoo! Finally, some explosions.General Duke: You're fired. Also, you two are under arrest.Raynor: For what?Duke: You destroyed a Terran Command Center.Raynor: But it was infested by the Zerg!Duke: So? Your bag was infested by heroin.Raynor: That's not true, you put that there!Duke: And the Zerg put the Zerg there. But I'm still blaming you.Raynor and Magistrate: Crap.Advisor: Um.... All your dudes are dying.Magistrate: Crap again. Is there anyone who can help us?Advisor: Only this right-wing extremist faction of wackos. Can you think of a way to appeal to them?Magistrate: Nein, Fraulein.Arcturus Mengsk: Say, let's be friends....Mengsk: I'm glad you survived your last mission.Magistrate: My mission was to survive.Mengsk: Right. Well since we're chums now, and since you'll never be in good graces with the Confederacy again, I'm gonna start calling you &Commander.&Magistrate/Commander: Wait, isn't that a demotion?Mengsk: Why, yes it is. Now, get into that Confederate installation over there and steal me some data discs.Commander: Alright, I jumped yea high. Now what?Mengsk: Now we make some friends. There's this colony in a state of open revolt -- we'll call it &Austria& -- under control of Confederate Forces.Raynor: Hi, I'm Jim Raynor.Commander: We know.Raynor: Well, I'm just reminding you since I'm kinda important. So what's this about Australia?Commander: (sigh)Kerrigan: Hi, I'm psychic. Also, experimental. Also, angsty.Raynor: Hi, I'm --Kerrigan: I know already. I'm psychic, remember?Raynor: Say, would you like to go --Kerrigan: No.Duke: AHHH!Norad II: KA-BOOM!Mengsk: Good job, all. Say, remember that irritating General from before?Raynor: Duke?Mengsk: Yeah. Well, his ship kinda crashed, and I need you to go in, rescue him, and make him our ally.Commander: That's an absolutely terrible idea.Mengsk: What's that in your bag?Raynor: Er....Commander: We'll be right on it.Mengsk: Alright, we've decoded those data discs and discovered plans for something called a psi emitter.Raynor: Huh?Kerrigan: Basically, the emitters use the same psychic frequencies as a &ghost& operative such as myself, amplified hundreds of times greater than that of a single ghost, to attract the Zerg.Raynor: ....Huh?Kerrigan: Look, just plant the one we've built in the Confederate base, and we won't have to do the killing ourselves.Commander: But I like killing....Kerrigan: Quiet, bloodthirsty gamer.Advisor: The Zerg have destroyed the base, and the Protoss have incinerated the Zerg.Commander: The Protoss?Advisor: Hmm, I guess we kinda glossed over them. Don't worry, more about them later.Duke: Hey, chums.Raynor and Commander: Gah!Duke: How'd you like to assault the primary Tarsonis weapons platform with me?Commander: Gah!Duke: You'll get to order me around....Raynor: (Here's your chance -- order him straight into a cluster of enemy missile turrets!)Advisor: Mission Objective #2: Duke must survive.Raynor: Aw.Advisor: The Zerg have destroyed Tarsonis. The Protoss are on their way to destroy the Zerg.Commander: Wait, did we just kill a whole planet of innocent civilians?Mengsk: Oh yeah... I kinda accidently put a psi emitter down there. Funny thing, huh?Raynor: Something about this feels kinda wrong.Mengsk: Oh, be quiet you two. You're the ones who were so eager to destroy everything before. Now, if the Protoss attack the Zerg, some of the Confederates might escape.Commander: Wait a sec. We're gonna make sure every last person on that planet dies?Mengsk: Yep.Commander: Also, we're going to attack a second potentially hostile species without provocation?Mengsk: Uh huh.Commander: I dunno about this....Mengsk: Have you ever seen how the Protoss die?Commander: You make a compelling argument. Let's go already.Commender: Eat blue flames, Protoss scum!Kerrigan: (from the base) AHHH! We're being overrun by those Zerg we for some reason weren't allowed to kill!Mengsk: (over the comm) Leave her.Commander: Wasn't she your second in command?Mengsk: Well she was... now she's just seconds.Raynor: I was okay with him killing every last human on the Terran homeworld, but he's gone too far now!Commander: She's just one girl....Raynor: But she was hot!Mengsk: (over the comm) Bla bla bla NEW WORLD ORDER bla bla....Advisor: Commander, if you wish to escape the tirades of this fascist wacko, I suggest we destroy the ion cannon and fly our forces to safety.Commander: Sounds hard.Advisor: Of course it' this is the last Terran level until Brood War.Commander: Alright... c'mon Raynor, stop mooning Mengsk and let's go.Ion Cannon: BOOM!Commander: Holy crap, that thing was impossible to level!Raynor: Did you try using a cow?Commander: Don' there is no cow level....Radio: Though our petty differences have long divided us, I say now let us BAND TOGETHER! Fellow Terrans, I Arcturus Mengsk --Raynor: Do we have to listen to this crap? Can't you change stations orsomething?Commander: I would, but check out these graphics! Whim, wham KA-BOOM!(Stuff gets blown up at Ludicrous Speed) [/quote][/collapse][quote]玩家：呃……有人么？副官：你好，这个战役里我是你的机器女仆。有问题吗，执法官？玩家/执法官：屌！我是执法官！很牛逼的样子！我能干点啥？副官：你可以……额……造三个人口和一个气矿。执法官：好无聊。没有爆炸么？副官：额……气就是用来干这个的。执法官：屌！执法官：好了，东西造好了。现在呢？副官：造点马润怎么样？执法官：对你脖子来一下怎么样？副官：否决。我脖子和以下的部分不再与头部相连。执法官：我猜也是。雷诺：Hi，我是吉姆·雷诺。被感染的指挥中心：Hi，我是肉块。马润：呕，肉块！打它！！！执法官：哇哈！终于有点爆炸了。杜克将军：你被解雇了。另外你二人被捕。雷诺：为什么？杜克：你摧毁了一个指挥中心。雷诺：它被虫族感染了！杜克：你包包被***感染了。雷诺：不对，是你把它放这里的！杜克：虫族把虫族放这里的。但我还是要找你们麻烦。雷诺&执法官：操。副官：呃……你的人快完蛋了。执法官：再操。有人能帮忙么？副官：只有这帮右翼极端分子。能想办法和他们搭上线吗？执法官：Nein, Fraulein. (德语：不行，小妞。)阿克图拉斯·蒙斯克：嘛，我们交个朋友……蒙斯克：很高兴你活过了上一关。执法官：上一关就是要我活下来。蒙斯克：很好。既然我们现在是哥们，既然你再不会跟联邦有好脸色，我准备叫你指挥官。执法官/指挥官：等等，这不是降职么？蒙斯克：哈哈，是啊。现在冲进那个联邦基地给我偷点数据出来。指挥官：搞定。现在呢？蒙斯克：现在交点朋友。这个殖民地——我们叫它“潘达利亚”——正在反抗联邦，而联邦军队正在镇压。雷诺：Hi，我是吉姆·雷诺。指挥官：我们知道。雷诺：嗯，只是因为我是主角所以提醒你一下。那么我们要对这个“澳大利亚”做点什么？指挥官：(叹气)凯莉根：Hi，我会精神感应，还是实验型的，还中二满满。雷诺：Hi，我是——凯莉根：我知道了。我会精神感应，还记得么？雷诺，嘛，你想不想——凯莉根：不。杜克：啊！！诺拉德二号：KABOOM！蒙斯克：干得好各位。嘛，还记得前面那个烦人的将军么？雷诺：杜克？蒙斯克：嗯。呃，他的船爆了，我需要你们杀进去救他出来把他拉到我们这里。指挥官：绝逼是个坏主意。蒙斯克：你包里是啥？雷诺：呃……指挥官：我们马上去。蒙斯克：好了，我们破译了你偷到的数据，找到了幽能发射器的图纸。雷诺：哈？凯莉根：大概地说，发射器使用我这样的幽灵特工使用的幽能频率，在单人基础上放大几百倍来吸引虫族。雷诺：……哈？凯莉根：看，只要把我们做出来的这个放在联邦基地里面，我们就不用自己动手杀人了。指挥官：但我喜欢杀人……凯莉根：闭嘴，嗜血的玩家。副官：虫族毁了基地，神族烧光了虫族。指挥官：神族？副官：嗯。我们之前一直忽略了他们。不用管，之后再理会他们。杜克：嘿，哥们。雷诺&指挥官：擦！杜克：你想不想和我一起攻击塔桑尼斯主武器平台？指挥官：擦！杜克：你可以控制我……雷诺：(机会来了，控制他直接撞进一堆导弹塔里面！)副官：任务目标二：杜克必须生还。雷诺：你妹。副官：虫族毁了塔桑尼斯。神族正在干掉虫族的路上。指挥官：等一下，我们杀死了一整个星球无辜的平民？蒙斯克：哦耶……我不小心放了个幽能发射器上去。好玩吧？雷诺：有点不对劲。蒙斯克：你俩闭嘴。之前可一直是你们想着摧毁所有东西的。现在，如果神族攻击虫族，联邦可能有人逃脱。指挥官：等一下。我们要让整个星球无人生还？蒙斯克：嗯。指挥官：我们还要对一个可能敌对的外星种族不宣而战？蒙斯克：嗯哼。指挥官：我不清楚……蒙斯克：你见过神族怎么死的么？指挥官：你这想法很好。走吧。指挥官：吃蓝火去，神族渣渣！凯莉根：(在基地)啊啊啊啊！我们快被不准我们攻击的虫族做掉了！蒙斯克：(通讯器)不管她。指挥官：她不是你的二把手吗？蒙斯克：之前是……现在只是二手了。雷诺：我可以接受他干掉行星上每一个人，但他现在过分了！指挥官：她只是个女孩子……雷诺：性感火爆的女孩子！蒙斯克：(通讯器) blablabla 世界新秩序 blablabla……副官：指挥官，如果你想终结这个法西斯疯子的长篇大论，我建议干掉离子炮带着部队闪人。指挥官：好像很难办。副官：当然很难办。这是资料片前最后一个人类关卡。指挥官：好吧……来吧雷诺，别唧唧歪歪蒙斯克了，走吧。离子炮：砰！指挥官：草草草，这东西炸不掉！雷诺：试过用奶牛了吗？指挥官：别傻了，又没有奶牛关。电台：经历了漫长的分裂，是时候统一起来了！人类同胞们，我，阿克图拉斯·蒙斯克——雷诺：我们一定要听这家伙 BB 么？你不能换台什么的？指挥官：可以啊，但是我要看爆炸场面！KABOOM！(各种东西以光速爆炸)[/quote]
[size=150%]第二季：虫族战役[/size][collapse=原文][quote]The Overmind: Yo, I'm the Overmind.Cerebrate: Wow! A cerebrate? Will the cool names never end?The Overmind: Quiet, gamer minion! Your soul purpose is to follow the will of the Zerg, which is me.Cerebrate: What about that crysalis over there?The Overmind: Oh, that. Your other soul purpose is to protect it.The Overmind: Done with the first craptacular mission? I figured. Now we make our way to the planet Char. In order to do that, we have to take the crysalis to a beacon, which is conveniently guarded by Protoss.Zasz: I'll loan you a few gigantohunormic hydrolisks for no reason. Any questions?Cerebrate: Yes, but since we're a hive mind I've already asked them, and you've already told me how stupid I am.The Overmind: Well, now that that's out of the way, we've intercepted a Terran transmission:Duke: Emperor Arcturus says there's Zerg here. As Terrans, we are xenophobic of xenomorphs. Thus, we're eradicating them.The Overmind: Excellent job with the eradication of the Terrans. Now do it again, once more, with feeling.Cerebrate: I am NOT turning this into a musical.Daggoth: Behold, the crysalis hatcheth!Crysalis: GAK!Kerrigan: Yo.Raynor: For some reason I can see the events occurring over there all the way in my Terran encampment. So let me be the first to say &Holy crap, Kerrigan?&Kerrigan: Watch as my Cerebrate destroys your forces while secluding me in the base and protecting me from harm.Raynor: But I've been having dreams lately about you being alive.Kerrigan: Yeah, er... my bad. I accidently sort of called you and Mengsk to me telepathically. Heheh, funny thing....Raynor: So are you going to kill me?Kerrigan: Nah. You're important, thus guaranteed a big part in the finale.Kerrigan: I want to infilitrate a Terran science vessel and uncover clues about my past.Zasz: Does the Overmind will it?Kerrigan: Hey, I'm special because I have free will. Just call me Locutus of Zerg, and you'll get the idea.Zasz: Is what she says true, Queen Overmind?The Overmind: Yes. And please, don't call me that in front of the other cerebrates.Ghost: They say some Zerg got onto this science vessel and infested it. Do you believe that?Marine: Nah. Now let's drink some of this beer we put in the cooler with that nuclear warhead and -- AAAGH! ZERG!Ghost: I'm a sad ghost. And since we're all expendable anyway....Nuclear Warhead: Click.Science Vessel Amerigo: KABOOM!Kerrigan: Well that was fun. Say, I sense a disturbance in the force.Tassadar: Yo.Kerrigan: Holy crap! There are Protoss on Char? Er, I mean yes. I could sense it!Tassadar: Stop being such a phony and face me in battle already.Kerrigan: You didn't really have to ask, I was going to anyway.Tassadar: I know. But we are a proud race, and as such we must state the obvious whenever possible.Kerrigan: Banzai!Tassadar: Pop!Kerrigan: Crap, you're just an illusion.Tassadar: Haha, fooled you! You'll never guess what I was doing while distracting you.Kerrigan: Were you... creating an illusion?Tassadar: Now who's stating the obvious?Daggoth: Zasz is dead.Kerrigan: Meh. We've got that reincarnation thing, right?Daggoth: No, you're thinking of Hinduism. Anyway, his brood is in disarray. Cerebrate, you still there?Cerebrate: Of course. Just because nobody was talking to me doesn't mean I went anywhere. Somebody's got to play this thing.Daggoth: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, your new mission is to destroy the remnants of the Garm brood.Cerebrate: Hooray! Finally some Zerg on Zerg action!Daggoth: Er, right.The Overmind: My silence is broken!Cerebrate: Since when have you been silent?The Overmind: Silence! I have discovered that the Protoss who murdered Zasz are known as the Dark Templar.Cerebrate: Kinda like the Dark Jedi?The Overmind: No, this is more of a two correct paths kind of thing, like Black and White Magik.Cerebrate: Ah.Daggoth: We shall set a trap for these Dark Templar. By &trap& I mean &onslaught of Zerg forces&, and by &we& I mean &you&.Cerebrate: Hey, wait a sec! You never said anything about guarding beacons!Daggoth: Oh, yeah. That. Look, just make sure that the Dark Templar don't escape from the beacons you're supposed to be guarding while simultaneously defending your three bases and building a force large enough to destroy all the Protoss on the map.Cerebrate: I'm not sure I'm on the level.Daggoth: Of course you aren't; there is no cow level!Kerrigan: What is this dark magik you wield? This power to stay cloaked at all times?Zeratul: Yeah, we're pretty damn cool all right. If you only knew the power of the dark --Kerrigan: Look, let's not rip things off more than we're already doing. Besides, I'm more evil than you and you know it.Zeratul: (sob)The Overmind: The time has come to invade the Protoss homeworld Aiur. Your job is to harvest the Khaydarin crystals so that I may be incarnated on the planet.Cerebrate: But won't that make you weak, and vulnerable to attack?The Overmind: Yes! Like Tarkin before me, I am giving the enemy a glimmer of hope before I destroy them.Cerebrate: But didn't Tarkin --The Overmind: Less knowledge of the Star Wars universe, more crystal gathering.The Overmind: Yay! Shiny crystal! Now we have only have one task left to accomplish before I can be manifested on the planet.Cerebrate: I thought that task was the crystal thing. And let me tell you, that's one of the hardest levels of the game!The Overmind: Game? You think this is a GAME? Get down on the planet and level the temple revered as holiest by the Protoss so I can put my disgusting biomass there.Cerebrate: Think highly of yourself much?The Overmind: Quite much.Cerebrate: There you go little drone! Plant that Khaydarin crystal on the ruins of the most sacred Protoss monument of all.The Overmind: Very good, Cerebrate. Now that I'm planted firmly in the homeworld of our greatest foe, nothing can stand in the way of the mighty Zerg swarm!Cerebrate: So... mind if I play as Protoss now?The Overmind: Sure, go right ahead.(The swarm encompasses Aiur at Ludicrous Speed)[/quote][/collapse][quote]主宰：Yo，我是主宰。脑虫：Wow！脑虫！酷炫名字停不下来啊！主宰：闭嘴，玩家小兵！你活着的使命就是服从虫族的意志，也就是我。脑虫：那边那个茧怎么回事？主宰：哦，那个啊。你活着的另一个使命就是保护它。主宰：搞定渣渣的第一关了？我猜也是。现在我们向查尔出发。为此我们要把茧带到传送点，而路上恰巧有神族在防守。扎兹：我毫无理由地借你几个发育过度的刺蛇。有问题吗？脑虫：是的，但之前我已经通过虫群思维问过你了，你也说过了我是个傻逼。主宰：嗯，搞定这事以后我们截获了一段人类通讯。杜克：皇帝阿克图拉斯说这里有虫族。我们人类对外星种族有外星恐惧症，所以我们要灭了它。主宰：灭了人类，干得漂亮。现在再来一次，注意节奏。脑虫：我他妈又不是在拍 MV。达苟斯：看啊，茧——孵——化——了！茧：啪！凯莉根：Yo。雷诺：不知怎的我能在自己基地里看到这里的事情。那么我来第一个说吧，“操，凯莉根？！”凯莉根：看着我的虫群在基地里严密保护我的同时灭掉你的部队吧。雷诺：我这两天一直梦到你还活着。凯莉根：嗯，呃……我的错。我意外地把你和蒙斯克找来了。哈哈，好有趣的样子。雷诺：所以你要杀了我？凯莉根：才不呢。你是主角，终章还有你的戏份呢。凯莉根：我想潜入一艘科学船寻找我从前的资料。扎兹：主宰准许吗？凯莉根：嘿，我和你们不一样，我有自己的意志。就把我当做虫族代言人，你会想通的。(Locotus，星际迷航的梗)扎兹：主宰女皇，她说的可属实？主宰：属实。另外，拜托不要在其他脑虫面前那么称呼我。幽灵：他们说虫族占领感染了这科学船。你信么？马润：才不信。现在，从核弹冷藏箱里翻点啤酒出来喝一杯，然后——啊！！！虫族！！！幽灵：我他妈就是个悲剧。不过我们反正都是炮灰……核弹：嘀。科学船亚美利哥号：KABOOM！凯莉根：哈哈好好玩。呃等一下，我感觉部队里有点不对劲。塔萨达：Yo。凯莉根：我操！查尔上面有神族？额，我是说肯定有，我感觉得到！塔萨达：别嘴炮了，我们来打一场。凯莉根：用不着你说，我已经来了。塔萨达：我知道。作为一个骄傲的种族，我们喜欢明知故问。凯莉根：板载！塔萨达：噗。凯莉根：擦，一个幻象而已？塔萨达：哈哈你个傻逼！你一定想不到刚才我们偷偷干了什么。凯莉根：……做了个幻象出来？塔萨达：现在是谁在明知故问？达苟斯：扎兹挂了。凯莉根：呵呵。我们可以复活的是吧？达苟斯：不，你以为我们是印度教啊。不管怎样他的族群乱套了。脑虫，你还在么？脑虫：那必须。作为阿卡林，我很乖的不会乱跑的。总得有人玩这游戏啊。达苟斯：嗯嗯。好吧，你现在的任务是干掉加姆剩下的族群。脑虫：耶！终于有 ZvZ 的关卡了！达苟丝：呃，好吧。主宰：我的安静被打破了！脑虫：你什么时候安静过了？主宰：安静！我发现了这些杀死扎兹的黑暗圣堂武士。脑虫：类似于黑暗绝地那样？主宰：不，两边都是可行的，像是黑魔法和白魔法。脑虫：啊。达苟斯：我们要给这些黑暗圣堂设个陷阱。“陷阱”是指“虫族进攻”，“我们”是指“你”。脑虫：等一下！你从来没说保护传送点的事！达苟斯：呃，这事啊。看，你只需要守住三个基地，不让黑暗圣堂从传送点跑路，然后造出一支大军灭了所有神族就可以了。脑虫：我不确定我真的想玩这关。达苟斯：当然不。没有奶牛关！凯莉根：你这是什么巫术？一直都能隐身？泽拉图：啊，我们就是这么酷炫。如果你了解黑暗面的力量——凯莉根：我们已经够跑题的了。另外，我比你还邪恶，你知道的。泽拉图：(泪奔)主宰：是时候进攻神族母星艾尔了。你的任务是收集凯达林水晶好让我扎根在星球表面。脑虫：那不会让你很脆么？主宰：是的！就跟前人塔金一样，灭掉敌人之前我要给他们留一线希望。脑虫：但塔金不是——主宰：别跟我扯星球大战的事了，去采集水晶去。主宰：耶！牛逼闪闪的水晶！再一件任务我就可以寄生在这星球上了。脑虫：啊，不是水晶这关？我说，这是游戏最难的关卡之一了！主宰：游戏？你他妈的以为这是个游戏？现在下去把神族最神圣的神庙给我炸平，我好把我的大肉球扔上去。脑虫：你真以为自己是个人物？主宰：那必须的。脑虫：去吧农民！把这块凯达林水晶放在神族最神圣的纪念碑废墟上.主宰：很好，脑虫。现在我已经在死敌的家园里稳稳立足，虫群无人能敌！脑虫：所以……我可以去玩神族了吗？主宰：没问题，去吧。(虫族光速侵蚀艾尔)[/quote]
[size=150%]第三季：神族战役[/size][collapse=原文][quote]Aldaris: Greetings, Executor!Executor: Wait, wait. The &chop off people's heads& type or the &sits behind a desk at work all day& type? Because one sounds a hell of a lot cooler than the other.Aldaris: The second type.Executor: Crap! First Star Wars fans, now me!Aldaris: Just get down there and save the Antioch Province already.Fenix: Come, let us pave the roads with Zerg blood, and if death comes to us, so be it!Executor: You know that you're pretty much guarunteed Zerg bait, right?Fenix: I think &chum& is the more accurate fishing metaphor here.Aldaris: Your defense of the Antioch Province was admirable.Executor: Of course it was. The first level is always a cynch.Aldaris: Let me gripe about Tassadar a bit. Gripe, gripe, gripe....Tassadar: Yo. Say, I've just been talking with the Dark Protoss, and--Aldaris: The Dark Protoss! Talking with them is forbidden!Tassadar: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, they said that the Zerg broods are led by cerebrates, and if you defeat them you can drive the whole swarm into chaos.Executor: I could have told you that....Aldaris: Stop expounding your knowledge from the previous campaigns, and start killing some cerebrates already.Cerebrate: Don't kill me! Don't you have some sense of lingering loyalty? You know, being a cerebrate last campaign and all that....Executor: Nah. Sick 'em, Fenix.Fenix: The cerebrate we worked so hard to kill was reincarnated!Executor: Curse Kerrigan and her Hindu proselytizing!Aldaris: You shall go to the province of Scion and take it back from the Zerg swarms.Executor: That's that province where they make those crappy cars, right?Aldaris: Yes, let this be a lesson to any Zerg who tries to insult our crappy cars!Zerg Hydrolisk: Yo.Fenix: Crap. Well, at least I will die as a warrior!Hydrolisk: Um, your blades just kinda fzzt-ed out. You still up for this?Fenix: Of course! We are a proud race....Hydrolisk: What does that have to do with anything?Fenix: Nothing. But they're good last words. Mind if I say 'em again?Hydrolisk: Sure, go right ahea--Fenix: GAK!Hydrolisk: Oops.Aldaris: I know Fenix is dead and the Zerg are swarming all over Aiur, but we've got more important things to do!Executor: I can't think of anything.Aldaris: We must track down Tassadar and bring him to trial for treason!Executor: That's more important than whiping the Zerg off our homeworld?Aldaris: You don't pick the missions, kid. We do the picking for you.Executor: Aw.Tassadar: What? Arrest me?Executor: I dunno anything, he told me to!Aldaris: Arrest him!Tassadar: Don't!Aldaris: Yes!Tassadar: No!Executor: Jeez, stop arguing and give me a mission objective already.Aldaris: The elders will not be pleased!Executor: I was just following orders.Aldaris: That's what the nazis said! And the writers of Andromeda!Tassadar: Don't listen to this guy. Now, we must find the Dark Templar. Only they can defeat the cerebrates.Executor: That doesn't make much sense...Tassadar: I find your lack of faith disturbing!Tassadar: Take me to that installation over there.Duke: (over the comm) Hold it! You're infringing on Terran airspace. Halt now, and --Terran Fleet: GAK!Tassadar: Now, where were we?Terran Scout: Hey Sarge! I found me a Protoss!Sarge: Kill it!Protoss: Jeez, what is it with you Terrans and your embodied American South stereotype?Other Protoss: Keelit! Keelit!Sarge: Very funny-- GAK!Zeratul: Yo.Tassadar: Alas, we have found the Dark Templar. Let us return to Aiur and let whatever ridicule becomes of us, become of us!Fenix: (over the comm) Hey, I'm back from the dead as a Dragoon now. Don't ask. Anyway, the Protoss Conclave is hunting you down for no reason.Tassadar: As I said, we shall destroy the Conclave!Executor: Isn't that a little extreme?Tassadar: It'll mean huge explosions....Executor: I'm on it.Executor: FIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFI--Tassadar: Enough! I surrender myself to be judged by my deeds!Executor: Aw, I was having fun.Fenix: We must rescue Tassadar from the Conclave!Executor: But wouldn't he want--Fenix: He's our only hope against the Zerg!Raynor: (over the comm) Can I help?Executor: Only if you don't talk much.Raynor: No guaruntees.Raynor: ...and this one time, I pretended to &bump into& Kerrigan, and--Fenix: Silence, foolish human! We have managed to release Tassadar, and for some reason he isn't angry at us.Aldaris: (over the comm) Fools! Heretics! Blasphemers!Executor: Yada, yada. So, what's the next mission?Zeratul: You must use me to destroy all the cerebrates in the level.Executor: Aw, I can't just leave you in the base so I don't lose just because a main character got killed?Zeratul: Not this time, sucker.Zeratul: Chop!Cerebrates: GAK!Tassadar: The Zerg defenses are down!Executor: That would make this last level too easy.Tassadar: We've all lost much to the Zerg. All of us may not survive this...Executor: Speak for yourself.Raynor: I've lost a lot to the Zerg too!Executor: Since when? You just want attention.Raynor: Oh, um....Executor: That's what I thought.Aldaris: I know this is late, but we of the conclave formally apolog--All: Shut up.Tassadar: The Overmind is weakened! I must sacrifice myself, channeling Dark Protoss energies in order to destroy it!Executor: Mighty eager on that sacrifice thing, aren't you?Tassadar: Just picture how big the explosion will be....Executor: I don't have to, here comes the cinematic.Tassadar: Ah, right.Tassadar: Bonzai!The Overmind: GAK!Raynor: Sure isn't.: Hmm, I guess that's not the best way to end the fiver of this, huh?Raynor: Sure isn't.Gamer: Who asked you?Raynor: Why are you always so mean to me? I'm just a lovable, down-to-Tarsonis guy.Gamer: Meh. Let's just get started on Brood War already.Raynor: Wait, DON'T--(The gamer removes the CD-ROM at Ludicrous Speed!) [/quote][/collapse][quote]阿尔达里斯：你好，执行官！执行官：等等。砍头的“执刑官”还是坐办公室的“执行官”？前面那个比后面那个酷多了。阿尔达里斯：第二个。执行官：擦！先是星战迷，然后是我！阿尔达里斯：总之去救援安条克省吧。菲尼克斯：来吧，让我们用虫族的血铺路，我将欣然接受死亡！执行官：你知道你肯定是吸引虫族的诱饵，对吧。菲尼克斯：纠正一下，钓饵。阿尔达里斯：救援行动很成功嘛。执行官：那必须。第一关都是菜鸡。阿尔达里斯：接下来说说塔萨达的事。塔呀么塔萨达啊……塔萨达：Yo。呃，刚刚我在和黑暗神族交流，然后——阿尔达里斯：黑暗神族！和他们交流是禁断行为！塔萨达：好吧好吧。他们说虫族是由脑虫领导的，剁了他们就可以让虫群陷入混乱。执行官：你可以咨询我嘛……阿尔达里斯：别炫耀你从前面战役得到的知识，去杀脑虫吧。脑虫：别杀我！你难道没有一点残留的忠诚吗？你知道上一个战役你还是个脑虫 blabla……执行官：滚粗。菲尼克斯，动手。菲尼克斯：我们好不容易干掉的脑虫又复活了！执行官：杀千刀的凯莉根和她的印度邪教！阿尔达里斯：你们要去从虫族手里收复塞恩省。执行官：你是说那个造破车的地方？(Scion 是个汽车品牌)阿尔达里斯：是的，给胆敢进攻我们的破车的虫族一个教训！刺蛇：Yo。菲尼克斯：操。好吧，至少我会以战士的姿态死去！刺蛇：呃，你的刀消失了诶。你还要来么？菲尼克斯：当然！我们是骄傲的种族……刺蛇：那能说明什么？菲尼克斯：没什么。不过作为遗言很帅气，我再说一遍吧。刺蛇：行，随你——菲尼克斯：啊！刺蛇：Oops。阿尔达里斯：我知道菲尼克斯已死，虫族在艾尔上肆虐，但我们还有更重要的事情！执行官：我实在想不出来。阿尔达里斯：我们必须找到塔萨达，让他因叛国接受审判！执行官：这比扫讨虫族还重要？！阿尔达里斯：关卡又不是你选的。我们说了算。执行官：你妹。塔萨达：什么？逮捕我？执行官：我什么都不知道，他让我干的！阿尔达里斯：逮捕他！塔萨达：别！阿尔达里斯：动手！塔萨达：别！执行官：靠，别吵了，快给我个任务目标。阿尔达里斯：长老们会愤怒的！执行官：我只是执行命令而已。阿尔达里斯：那是纳粹言论！或者是安德罗梅达传说的内容！塔萨达：别理他。现在，我们得找到黑暗圣堂武士。只有他们能杀死脑虫。执行官：不太科学的样子……塔萨达：没信心的家伙真是烦人！塔萨达：把我带到那个基地。杜克：(通讯器)停下！你侵入了人类领空。立刻停止，并——人类舰队：呃啊！塔萨达：现在是什么情况？人类侦察兵：中士！我发现了一个神族！中士：杀了它！神族：你们这帮人类的美国南部作风是怎么回事？另外的神族：杀了它！杀了它！中士：有意——呃啊！泽拉图：Yo。塔萨达：啊，我们找到黑暗圣堂了。回到艾尔，让所有人再回想起曾经被他们支配的恐怖！菲尼克斯：(通讯器)嘿，我死里逃生变成了个龙骑。别问我怎么回事。现在，神族议会正在毫无理由地追杀你们。塔萨达：我说过了，我们会摧毁议会！执行官：是不是有点过分了？塔萨达：会有很壮观的爆炸……执行官：我干！执行官：开火开火开火开火开火开——塔萨达：够了！我愿意投降受审！执行官：我正打得开心呢。菲尼克斯：我们必须从议会手里救出塔萨达！执行官：但他不是想——菲尼克斯：他是我们对付虫族唯一的希望！雷诺：(通讯器)我能帮忙嘛？执行官：只要你不多嘴。雷诺：没法保证。雷诺：……那一次，我假装“碰上”凯莉根，然后——菲尼克斯：安静，愚蠢的人类！我们救出了塔萨达，然后他不知为何没有对我们生气。阿尔达里斯：(通讯器)蠢货！异端！渎神者！执行官：好吧好吧。下一个任务是什么？泽拉图：你必须控制我杀掉关卡里所有的脑虫。执行官：啊，不能就把你扔在基地里免得主角死了让我输掉？泽拉图：这次不行，傻逼。泽拉图：看刀！脑虫：呃啊！塔萨达：虫族的防御已被击溃！执行官：那这关不会太简单了么？塔萨达：虫族已经夺去了我们太多的东西。也许有人会无法存活……执行官：为你自己代言就行了。雷诺：虫族也夺去了我很多！执行官：什么时候的事？你只是刷存在感罢了。雷诺：哦，呃……执行官：我就说嘛。阿尔达里斯：我知道姗姗来迟了，但议会全体成员在此正式致——所有人：滚粗。塔萨达：主宰已被削弱！我必须牺牲自己，引导黑暗神族的能量来摧毁它！执行官：很想牺牲是不是？塔萨达：想想会有多么华丽的爆炸……执行官：用不着，看 CG 就好。塔萨达：呃，好吧。塔萨达：板载！主宰：呃啊！雷诺A：嗯，这不算是个好结尾，是吧？雷诺B：肯定不是。玩家：谁在问你？雷诺：你为什么要对我这么坏？我只是个人见人爱的塔桑尼斯男孩。玩家：呵呵。我们开始母巢之战吧。雷诺：等等，别——(玩家光速更换光盘！)[/quote]
[size=150%]第四季：资料片神族战役[/size][collapse][quote]Zerg: GAK!Terrans: GAK!Stukov: Heheheh. Look at 'em go!DuGalle: Jeez, do we have to overdo the evil &authorities looking down at peons getting killed& angle?Stukov: Yes. Yes we do.Aldaris: Well then. The Conclave is dead, and the remnants of the Zerg are ravaging our homeworld of Aiur!Executor: Wait a second, you were a total dork last game. Also Raynor.Raynor: Ahem.Zeratul: Let's just head over to the Dark Protoss secret homeworld of Shakuras. Along with the annoying new Praetor.Artanis: Yo.Executor: Shouldn't we... you know, signal them so they don't shoot us accidentally?Zeratul: An excellent idea. I'll radio Shakuras right away!Artanis: This is your homeworld? What a dump.Zeratul: Silence, impetuous youth!Artanis: I'm 262 years old.Zeratul: Right in the middle of the terrible twos!Raszagal: I am the Dark Templar Matriarch. You'll notice I'm just here to prove that female Protoss do exist.Artanis: As I represent the youth.Raszagal: Yeah, who cares. Anyway, there's this temple on the other side of the planet. It requires two crystals in order to activate, which can be found --Executor: Jeez, how long is all that going to take?Raszagal: Most probably another six missions.Executor: Crud.Cerebrates: GAK!Kerrigan: That was awesome.Zeratul: Huh? You're evil incarnate, why are you so gung-ho cerebrate slaughter all of a sudden?Kerrigan: Those were my enemies. By the way, Daggoth and his homies are attempting to create a new Overmind.Aldaris: Impossible!Raszagal: Silence, dork! We will do what Kerrigan asks.Executor: But --Raszagal: We are a proud race!Executor: What's that supposed to mean, anyway?Raszagal: Shut up and get the damned crystal. That's what.Kerrigan: Got the crystal. Still trust me? Good.Zeratul: It's like watching myself have a conversation!Stukov: Surrender, puny non-Earthlings. I am Alexei Stukov of the United Earth Directorate, and --Zeratul: Earth? They've come a long way.Artanis: Permission to destroy them for no reason?Zeratul: Granted.Zeratul: We must secure the second crystal!Artanis: We must destroy the Overmind!Kerrigan: Let's do both.Executor: Shhh...Artanis and Zeratul: Okay.Executor: Crap!Kerrigan: You will probably need my help to --The Overmind: GAK!Kerrigan: (sigh) Do you always have to show off with your stupid carriers?Raszagal: Hey, while you were doing something important, Aldaris did something really dorky.Executor: Did he use the women's room instead of the men's?Raszagal: Worse. He's rebelling against us because he's a racist. We must kill him so he cannot stain our --Executor: &Our proud race,& yada yada, I'm on it already.Aldaris: I denounce all of you! Especially Kerrigan, who I found out is secretly -- GAK!Kerrigan: Oops.Artanis: Wait a second, you're THAT evil chick from the first game....Kerrigan: Thanks for helping me kill the Overmind and stake a claim for leadership of the Zerg.Executor: I told you guys. But did you listen? Nooooo....Artanis: Just because I'm youthful doesn't mean I'm deaf. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some Deftones to listen to.Raszagal: Too long have we been pushed around by the Zerg! Let us fight back!Executor: That's what we've been doing since the start of Episode III.Raszagal: Don't mind me, I'm just being suspicious. Artanis, let us now bring the crystals to the temple which is once again swarming with Zerg. Artanis?Artanis: Did you say something?Zeratul: (sigh) I guess you'll need my help too.Executor: You know, I've got carriers so I don't really need your --Zeratul: Of course you do. They don't call us &heroes& for nothing.Executor: Yes they do. Warcraft III this ain't.Executor: Jeez, this level is impossible like a cow.Artanis: What is it with you executors and &cow levels&? There is no cow level.Zeratul: We have more important things at hand, like placing long-lost crystals in a strange temple!Executor: Pffft, if you ask me this whole crystal thing is pretty lam--Crystals: Woohoo! We're home!All Zerg On Planet: GAK!Executor: Er, right. Terran time.(The Executor becomes the Commander at Ludicrous Speed) [/quote][/collapse][quote]虫族：呃啊！人类：呃啊！斯图科夫：嘿嘿，看这些小兵！杜加尔：天，一定要用那种邪恶的“领导看着小兵送死”的镜头嘛？斯图科夫：那必须。阿尔达里斯：好吧。议会已覆灭，剩余的虫族仍在母星艾尔肆虐！执行官：等等。上一个战役你就是个二逼。还有雷诺。雷诺：啊哼。泽拉图：我们出发去黑暗神族的秘密母星沙库拉斯吧。还有烦人的新执行长。阿坦尼斯：Yo。执行官：等等……你懂的，我们不发个信号免得他们误伤么？泽拉图：极好的主意。我马上打个***！阿坦尼斯：这就是你的母星？渣渣。泽拉图：安静，鲁莽的年轻人！阿坦尼斯：我 262 岁了。泽拉图：和二百五差不多！拉夏格尔：我是黑暗圣堂武士的族母。你会发现我只是说明女性神族的确是存在的。阿坦尼斯：而我代表年轻人。拉夏格尔：嗯，管他的呢。呃，这颗星球另一端有一座神庙，需要两颗水晶来启动，你们要去——执行官：天，要花多久？拉夏格尔：很可能还要六关。执行官：废话。脑虫：呃啊！凯莉根：很好。泽拉图：哈，你个邪恶的化身，怎么突然开始热血地杀脑虫了？凯莉根：它们是我的敌人。另外，达苟斯和他的族群在尝试制造一个新的主宰。阿尔达里斯：不可能！拉夏格尔：闭嘴，二逼！我们会照凯莉根说的做。执行官：但是——拉夏格尔：我们是骄傲的种族！执行官：这话到底几个意思？拉夏格尔：闭嘴，去把水晶找回来。就是这个意思。凯莉根：拿到水晶了。还相信我？很好。泽拉图：看这自言自语的家伙。斯图科夫：可怜的外星人，投降！我是地球联合理事会的亚历克斯·斯图科夫，你们——泽拉图：地球？好远的路。阿坦尼斯：准许无理由毁灭他们？泽拉图：准许。泽拉图：我们必须拿到第二块水晶！阿坦尼斯：我们必须杀掉主宰！凯莉根：双管齐下。执行官：嘘……阿坦尼斯&泽拉图：好吧。执行官：操。凯莉根：你可能要我帮忙才能——主宰：呃啊！凯莉根：(叹气)你一定要用傻逼的航母吗？拉夏格尔：嘿，在你们奋斗的时候，阿尔达里斯做了件极其傻逼的事。执行官：进了女厕所？拉夏格尔：还要糟。他因为种族主义背叛我们。我们必须干掉他免得他玷污我们——执行官：“骄傲的种族”，好吧好吧。我去也。阿尔达里斯：我谴责你们所有人！尤其是凯莉根，我发现她在秘密地——呃啊！凯莉根：Oops。阿坦尼斯：等下，你就是从一开始的那个邪恶婊子……凯莉根：谢谢帮我干掉主宰、统领虫族。执行官：早跟你们说过了。你们信了么？没有……阿坦尼斯：我是年轻人可不是聋子。我去找龙组了。拉夏格尔：我们被虫族压迫太久了！打回去！执行官：我们从第三季一开始就在干这事。拉夏格尔：别提醒我，我只是有点怀疑。阿坦尼斯，我们把水晶带到现在满是虫族的神庙那里。阿坦尼斯？阿坦尼斯：你说啥？泽拉图：(叹气)看来还得我出马。执行官：你知道的，我有航母，所以不用你们——泽拉图：你绝对用得着。我们被称为英雄又不是没有理由的。执行官：好吧。这又不是 War3。执行官：天，这一关太像奶牛了。阿坦尼斯：你个执行官怎么一天就想着奶牛关？没有奶牛关！泽拉图：我们有更重要的事，比如把好不容易找到的水晶放进一个奇怪的神庙里！执行官：噗。要我说的话，这整个水晶的事实在是傻——水晶：耶！我们回家了！星球上所有的虫族：呃啊！执行官：呃，好吧。人类时间到。(执行官以光速变成指挥官)[/quote]
[size=150%]第五季：资料片人类战役[/size][collapse][quote]Com Lady: Wakey wakey, gamer captain!Captain: Woohoo, promotion from last time!Com Lady: Wrong. You're a different officer. You've come with the United Earth Directorate to invade Braxis and --Captain: This sounds complicated.Com Lady: Just listen to Admiral DuGalle's proclamation. It'll clear some things up.DuGalle: A lot of you have expressed concern that our &Invade other Terrans to save them& policy is hypocritical and complicated. To this I say simply &Meh&.Stukov: What an excellent indoctrin, er, proclamation. Any thoughts, Captain?Captain: Meh.Duran: Hey, you look like you could use some help there.Captain: Grr... lousy inability to make anything other than marines in this level....Stukov: Who are you, anyway?Duran: I'm Samir Duran. But my friends call me Che. Like the beret?Stukov: No.Duran: Pfft. Some Russian you are....Stukov: Hey, I resemble that remark! Are you gonna join us or not?Duran: Only if you'll buy my militia's sugar at inflated prices.Stukov: Deal!Dominion Command Center: Boom!DuGalle: Congratulations. Operation Dominion Freedom has been a complete success!Captain: Um, okay.DuGalle: Now, your next mission is an invasion of the Dylarian shipyards. We must commandeer battlecruisers there, and --Captain: Um... wouldn't it be easier to make our own?DuGalle: Of course it would. Have fun, DuGalle out.Captain: Nuts.Captain: Okay, that's eighteen.General Duke: Yo. Just what do you think you're doing?Captain: Uh... stealing ships?Duke: You need a permit for that. I'll have to see some I.D.Captain: How about these Yamayto guns?Duke: You mean Yamato?Captain: Meh, yamayto/yamato. Either way, your @$$ is going down.Com Lady: General Duke has retreated.DuGalle: Scans are showing the signal of a Psi disruptor.Duran: I bet it's the fabled Lost Psi Disruptor of Tarsonis! With the sacred power to disrupt all Zerg communications.Captain: Oh, please. If I wanted to play an RPG I'd pop in Warcraft III.Duran: This is very serious. If you plan to enslave the Overmind, we must destroy this device before others can find it.Captain: Wait a sec, wasn't the Overmind destroyed in episodes III and IV?DuGalle: It's not important. Even if it weren't, our plan is too maniacal to work. Right, Stukov?Stukov: MuahahaHAHAHA --DuGalle: Right.DuGalle: So, you got that Psi disruptor destroyed?Captain: Uh, Stukov said he'd take care of it.Stukov: MuahaHAHA --DuGalle: Excellent. We will now begin our attack on Korhol. The desert planet. There you will either destroy the physics labs or the nuclear silos.Captain: Can't you give a more decisive order than that?DuGalle: Of course I can. DuGalle out.Captain: That guy is really getting on my nerves.Duran: Relax. At least he's not surrendering left and right.DuGalle: I heard that! And for the record, the French only surrender left.Duran: I stand corrected.DuGalle: Alright, let's get down to business and kill Emperor Mengsk already.Captain: Um, the emperor? That doesn't sound too easy.DuGalle: Relax. All we've got to do is turn your dad against him.Captain: But that might kill him!DuGalle: The ends justify the means. Besides, that way your dad won't die a bastard.Captain: Hey!Mengsk: I'm afraid my command center will be quite operational when your petty fleet arrives....Mengsk's Command Center: KABOOM!Mengsk: Crap.Raynor: Quick, Emperor -- Into the Protoss advanced wonky voodoo teleporters!Captain: Jeez, you don't even like Emperor Mengsk. You're just rescuing him so you have something to do in every episode.Raynor: Yeah, pretty much.DuGalle: Nuts, he escaped! Curse your dad!Captain: Leave my dad out of this!DuGalle: Fine. Just destroy Raynor's command center and be done with them both.Captain: (sigh) Why do I have the feeling this won't work either?Stukov: Hooray! The command center is destroyed!Captain: And what about that massive Zerg fleet swarming in on Duran?Stukov: Meh.Com Lady: Detecting Vice Admiral Stukov on Braxis, sir.DuGalle: Impossible!Duran: It appears he has betrayed you.DuGalle: Impossible!Com Lady: Detecting Vice Admiral Stukov inside the Psi Disruptor.DuGalle: Impossible!Com Lady: He's aiming it at you.DuGalle: Impossible!Duran: I submit that DuGalle has been replaced by a clone with a single-word vocabulary. Let's just go in and kill Stukov already.Captain: Agreed.Stukov: Don't kill me! I'm not the real trai-- GAK!Duran: Heheheh (runs)DuGalle: Impossible!Stukov: Uh... I've just been killed by Duran, while trying to activate our only real defense against the Zerg.DuGalle: By golly, you're right! It IS our only hope against the Zerg! We only said so four times! How could we be so blind?Stukov: Just avenge me already. There's only so long a dying man can talk before he finally croaks.DuGalle: Good point, Trinity.Captain: Say, look at all those Zerg that are about to swarm my troops. And that countdown that suggests this thing's gonna blow up.DuGalle: I conclude that Duran was an infested Terran spy all along!Captain: You do that. I'm just gonna get myself out of this mess and stop the countdown.DuGalle: Okay.Psi Disruptor: Not &Kaboom&!Captain: Hooray!DuGalle: Good work. It appears the Zerg forces are in disarray.Captain: That means this last level will be a breeze, right?DuGalle: I wouldn't count on it. You better hope for a cow level.Captain: There is no cow level....DuGalle: Exactly.Captain: Aha! Gotcha!The Overmind: Crap.Captain: Shouldn't you be called &The Overmind III& or something?The Overmind: Nah. My middle name is different than the Overmind before me. Just call me &The W Overmind&.DuGalle: As a French guy, I resent that for some reason.Duran: Hi. By the way, I was a Zerg spy.Captain: I still don't think that makes much sense....DuGalle: You're just jealous 'cause I guessed it first.Kerrigan: Ah, Admiral DuGalle. I, er, need that overmind back. Now.Captain: (GASP) You didn't capitalize &overmind&!Kerrigan: Meh, I'm Kerrigan. It's okay if I use the overmind's name in vain.Broadcast: The United Earth Directorate rocks! The Zerg are all but defeated! Two plus two equals five!Captain: Do we have to listen to this terrible propaganda?DuGalle: You're right, it is terrible. I wish I had a gun and a single bullet.Captain: Easy there -- it's not THAT bad....(DuGalle goes all &depressing French stereotype& on us at Ludicrous Speed) [/quote][/collapse][quote]AI：船长玩家，起床啦起床啦！船长：耶，又升职了！AI：错，你是另一个领导了。你随着地球联合理事会而来，进攻布拉克希斯星球，以及——船长：好复杂。AI：听杜加尔司令的动员吧。他会讲清楚的。杜加尔：你们很多人觉得“侵略人类来保护他们”伪善又复杂。对此我只有两个字：呵呵。斯图科夫：漂亮的洗脑，呃不，动员。有问题吗，船长？船长：呵呵。杜兰：嘿，看来你需要帮忙。船长：呃……只能造马润实在烦死了。斯图科夫：你是什么来头？杜兰：萨米尔·杜兰。朋友们叫我切。喜欢这外号吗？斯图科夫：不。杜兰：噗。你算哪门子毛子。斯图科夫：我可记住这话了啊！你要不要跟我们混？杜兰：只要你买我的人的高价毒品。斯图科夫：成交。自治联盟指挥中心：砰！杜加尔：祝贺。自由联盟行动圆满成功！船长：呃，好吧。杜加尔：现在，你下个任务是进攻迪拉里安船坞。我们要控制那里的战巡，然后——船长：我们自己造不是省事得多？杜加尔：是嘛。玩开心，杜加尔完毕。船长：疯子。船长：好了，18 艘凑齐了。杜克将军：Yo。你以为你在干啥？船长：呃……偷几艘船？杜克：需要授权。给我看证件！船长：这些大湖炮怎么样？杜克：你是说大和炮？船长：呵呵，管他大湖大河呢。总之我要爆你菊花。AI：杜克将军已经撤退。杜加尔：扫描到一个幽能干扰器的信号。杜兰：这一定是塔桑尼斯著名的失落幽能干扰器，拥有扰乱虫族通讯的神圣力量！船长：得了吧。我要是想玩 RPG 我就去玩 War3 了。杜兰：这很重要。如果你们想控制主宰，我们必须在其他人找到它之前摧毁它。船长：等等，主宰不是在第三季和第四季挂了吗？杜兰：无所谓。就算没有，我们疯狂的计划也不会有用的，是吧斯图科夫？斯图科夫：木哈哈哈哈……杜加尔：好吧。杜加尔：那么你干掉了幽能干扰器吗？船长：斯图科夫说他会处理。斯图科夫：木哈哈……杜加尔：很好。我们现在开始进攻沙漠星球克哈。你要么灭掉物理实验室要么灭掉核弹井。船长：就不能给个明确的任务？杜加尔：当然可以。杜加尔完毕。船长：这家伙真的让我蛋疼。杜兰：放心。至少他没有左右投降。杜加尔：我听到了！另外，法国人只投降左边。杜兰：了解。杜加尔：好了，我们去干掉皇帝吧。船长：呃，皇帝？好像很麻烦的样子。杜加尔：放心。只要把你爹用来干他就行了。船长：他可能会挂的！杜加尔：结果才重要。另外，那样你爹才不会死得像个魂淡。船长：你再说一次？蒙斯克：恐怕你们可怜的舰队到的时候我的指挥中心已经全面运转起来了……蒙斯克的指挥中心：KABOOM！蒙斯克：操。雷诺：快，皇帝——神族诡异的高级地精传送器！船长：天，你压根就不喜欢皇帝。你只是来在每一季里面都刷点存在感的。雷诺：完全正确。杜加尔：靠，他跑了！去你大爷的！船长：别再提我大爷！杜加尔：好吧。干掉雷诺的指挥中心，剁了他俩。船长：(叹气)为啥我觉得这也不行的？斯图科夫：耶！指挥中心炸了！船长：朝着杜兰杀过去的大批虫族怎么回事？斯图科夫：呵呵。AI：在布拉克希斯上侦测到副司令斯图科夫，长官。杜加尔：不可能！杜兰：似乎他背叛你了？杜加尔：不可能！AI：在幽能干扰器内部侦测到副司令斯图科夫。杜加尔：不可能！AI：他在用这个对付你。杜加尔：不可能！杜兰：杜加尔看来变成复读机了。我们进去杀了斯图科夫吧。船长：同意。斯图科夫：别杀我！我不是真的叛——呃啊！杜兰：嘿嘿嘿(逃)杜加尔：不可能！斯图科夫：呃……我在激活对虫族唯一的防御的时候被杜兰杀了。杜加尔：天啊，你没错！它的确是我们对虫族唯一的希望！我们只提到四次！我们怎么这么傻逼？斯图科夫：为我报仇。将死之人就这点时间了。杜加尔：没错，崔尼蒂。船长：嘛，这些虫族要淹没我的部队。自毁倒计时开始了。杜加尔：我得出结论，杜兰一直都是个被虫族感染的间谍！船长：随你。我要停止倒计时然后跑出来。杜加尔：好吧。幽能干扰器：没有 KABOOM！船长：耶！杜加尔：很好。看来虫族已经陷入混乱。船长：所以最后一关轻松愉快？杜加尔：我不觉得。你还不如指望奶牛关。船长：又没有奶牛关……杜加尔：没错。船长：啊哈！抓到你了！主宰：操。船长：你不该是什么“第三主宰”么？主宰：才不是。我的中间名不一样。我叫“W 主宰”。杜加尔：作为法国人我对此表示愤慨。杜兰：嗨。另外，我是个虫族间谍。船长：我还是觉得不太靠谱……杜加尔：你只是嫉妒我先发现而已。凯莉根：啊，杜加尔司令。呃，我要拿回主宰。马上。船长：(惊)你没有大写！凯莉根：我是凯莉根。我想怎样就怎样。广播：地球联合理事会威武霸气！虫族溃不成军！二加二等于五！船长：我们一定要听这烦人的洗脑吗？杜加尔：没错，的确很烦人。要有把***和一颗子弹就好了。船长：冷静，没那么糟……(杜加尔以光速印证“忧郁的法国人”的成见)[/quote]
[size=150%]第六季：资料片虫族战役[/size][collapse][quote]Kerrigan: Sorry for severing you from the Overmind, Cerebrate, but it was kinda necessary.Cerebrate: Huh?Duran: Kerrigan, your visitors have arrived.Raynor: Yo.Kerrigan: Never mind, Cerebrate. Jim, can't you just go one episode without making an appearance?Raynor: About as well as you can. What did you want?Kerrigan: We need to do something about the United Earth Directorate. They've taken control of all the Zerg except for a few of mine.Raynor: So? Let me guess, you want us to help you again. You can't trick me again, after that whole &helping you kill the second Overmind& thing.Kerrigan: Crap.Duran: The UED has nullified all your forces except for that clueless cerebrate you just freed.Cerebrate: Yo.Kerrigan: Fine, we'll do that now. Then betray Raynor.Raynor: I heard that.Kerrigan: No you didn't.Kerrigan: Thanks for saving all those hives for me.Cerebrate: Huh?Kerrigan: You can stop playing the &confused, newly awakened cerebrate& part. We all know you're a gamer who's played through five episodes already.Cerebrate: Right. That gag didn't come across well anyway.Kerrigan: Exactly. So, Raynor. About you helping me defeat the UED....Raynor: Trusting you is dumb. And I'm not dumb.Kerrigan: You're half right. But since you brought me Emperor Mengsk, I don't need your help so much.Mengsk: What do you need me for?Kerrigan: I need psi emitters for reasons even I'm not sure of. Just help me destroy the psi disruptor and I'll help you retake Korhol.Raynor: Don't help her! You're not really that dumb, are you?Mengsk: Of course I am. Only my propaganda says otherwise.Psi Disruptor: ker-BLAMMO!Kerrigan: You and your fancy explosions....Mengsk: So are you helping me out or not?Kerrigan: Sure. But I need you to help me get 10,000 mineral resources first.Cerebrate: Jeez. Which of you &heroes& is stupid enough to lead that assault?Artanis: Ooo! Ooo! Pick me! Pick me!Cerebrate: (sigh)Duran: Do you think they suspect anything?Kerrigan: Have you been listening to Raynor at all? Of course they do.Duran: Then why are they still helping you?Kerrigan: Who knows? But it sure is convenient.Kerrigan: Thanks to you Artanis, my broods are now stronger than ever.Artanis: Glad to be of service.Cerebrate: You idiot! She's gonna kill you all! YOU ALL!Kerrigan: Silence, minion.Mengsk: So are we assaulting the UED now or not?Kerrigan: We're assaulting the UED now. Do your happy dance.Mengsk: The Macarena or the robot?Kerrigan: I really don't care.UED Defenses: GAK!Mengsk: Hooray! I'm Emperor again!Kerrigan: For now....Mengsk: What's that supposed to mean.Kerrigan: Uh.. that you're emperor. Now.Mengsk: That's right! And don't you forget it!Kerrigan: Cerebrate. Duran. It's time to kill our allies. I want General Duke and Fenix both dead.Cerebrate: So? I want Raynor dead.Kerrigan: Too bad. He's a main character.Cerebrate: And Duke and Fenix aren't?Kerrigan: Quiet, you. You're not even a character, you're the gamer.Cerebrate: Point.Duke: GAK!Mengsk: (over the comm) I object!Kerrigan: Meh.Fenix: GAK!Raynor: (over the comm) I'm gonna kill you someday.Kerrigan: Meh. I'm not too worried, Blizzard seems to be taking its time on the sequel.Duran: My queen, the Zerg under the control of the UED are attacking our outposts!Cerebrate: Didn't we, er, toast those guys already?Kerrigan: Indeed we did. I had hoped to rest for a little while, but apparently the &No less than 8 missions per campaign& thing is mandatory.Duran: Cerebrate, we must attack immedia-- hey! Put down those Doritos and get back here!Cerebrate: Crap. Caught cheese-handed.UED Zerg: GAK!UED Scientists: GAK!Cerebrate: Heheh. We just continUED our slaughter of the UED.Kerrigan: Don't make me hurt you.Kerrigan: All right. It's time we went back to Shakuras and dealt with the leader of the Dark Templar, Raszagal.Cerebrate: Her? She's the most boring character the Protoss have!Kerrigan: Yes, but boring equals stupid in this case. Just watch.Zeratul: (over the comm) Why have you taken Raszagal?Kerrigan: I need your help to --Zeratul: How many times this episode have you asked for help, and how many times haven't you betrayed who helped you?Kerrigan: Uh... I'm pretty sure I'm 2 for 2.Zeratul: Then why should I help you?Raszagal: Because I say so. The Overmind is our common enemy --Zeratul: What kind of logic is that? You're really just helping her because you think &chicks with power are kewl&.Raszagal: Yep. But you're whipped so who cares? Shut up and help her.Zeratul: (sigh) Yes ma'am....The Overmind: GAK a 3rd time!Zeratul: There, I've done what you asked. Now let Raszagal go.Raszagal: I don't want to go. I love my work with the Zerg.Kerrigan: Ha! What a stupid, easily manipulated leader you have.Zeratul: You really, really suck. You know that, right?Kerrigan: It's her fault. She underestimated me. Everyone underestimates me!Cerebrate: I didn't.Kerrigan: You don't count. You're just --Cerebrate: I know... I know....Duran: Zeratul has recaptured the Matriarch! They'll have escaped in thirty minutes. To the second.Kerrigan: Start the countdown. You know what to do, right Cerebrate?Cerebrate: Kill anything that moves.Kerrigan: That's right. Except don't waste time killing critters this time.Ragnasaurs: Whew!Zeratul: I'd rather kill Raszagal than give her to you as a slave!Kerrigan: Okay.Zeratul: Right.Kerrigan: ...what are you waiting for? Are you killing her or not?Zeratul: Oh, I'm gonna. Just give me a minute.Kerrigan: Muahaha! Nothing stands in my way, the universe is mine!Mengsk: (over the comm) Hey.Artanis: (over the comm) Yo.DuGalle: (over the comm) Sup?Cerebrate: Methinks your cackling was premature.Kerrigan: Could you take care of that for me? Thanks.Cerebrate: Lemme guess. A cow level, right?Mengsk, Artanis, and DuGalle: There is no--Cerebrate: Yeah, yeah....Kerrigan: Muahaha! I can cackle securely now!DuGalle: (sigh) I'll be picking out a bullet to go with my brain if anyone needs me.Kerrigan: Look at all my power. I make Stalin and Hitler look like the British royal family!Cerebrate: I dunno. I have a feeling that'll change in the sequel.Kerrigan: Bring it on, Blizzard.(Blizzard brings it on at a ridiculously NON-Ludicrous Speed) [/quote][/collapse][quote]凯莉根：抱歉把你和主宰断开，脑虫，但这是必要的。脑虫：呃？杜兰：凯莉根，访客到了。雷诺：Yo。凯莉根：没关系，脑虫。吉姆，你就不能哪怕是一个战役里面不出来打个酱油吗？雷诺：只要你能做到。你想干啥？凯莉根：我们得对付地球联合理事会。除了我手下一点，他们控制了所有的虫族。雷诺：所以？我猜你想让我们帮忙。帮你杀掉第二主宰就够了，别想再骗我。凯莉根：操。杜兰：UED 已经控制了你所有的部队，你只有刚刚救出来的这个不明所以的脑虫。脑虫：Yo。凯莉根：好吧，先把这事了了，再背叛雷诺。雷诺：我都听到了。凯莉根：你没听到！凯莉根：谢谢救下这些巢穴。脑虫：呃？凯莉根：别装成一个才醒过来什么都不知道的脑虫了。我们都知道你明明是个玩了五个战役的玩家。脑虫：好吧，这并不可笑嘛。凯莉根：的确。那么，雷诺，关于帮我干掉 UED 的事……雷诺：傻逼才信你，我又不是傻逼。凯莉根：说对一半。不过你已经把蒙斯克带来了，我不太需要你帮忙。蒙斯克：你要我干啥？凯莉根：我需要幽能发射器，原因我不知道。帮我干掉幽能干扰器，我会帮你夺回克哈。雷诺：别帮她！你不是个大傻逼吧！蒙斯克：我当然是。只有对外宣传才不这么说。幽能干扰器：凯——BANG！凯莉根：好漂亮的爆炸……蒙斯克：所以你到底帮不帮忙？凯莉根：当然。不过你得先帮我搞到10000水晶。脑虫：天。有哪个“英雄”会傻逼到带领这次攻击？菲尼克斯：哦！哦！选我！选我！脑虫：(叹)杜兰：你觉得他们会有怀疑吗？凯莉根：你有没有听雷诺说话？他们当然怀疑了。杜兰：那他们为什么还帮你？凯莉根：谁知道？不过和我心意。凯莉根：谢谢你菲尼克斯，我的虫群比以前更强大了。菲尼克斯：乐意效劳。脑虫：白痴！她会干掉你们所有人！你们所有人！凯莉根：闭嘴，小兵。蒙斯克：所以我们现在干 UED 嘛？凯莉根：我们现在干 UED。你可以开始快乐地跳舞了。蒙斯克：马卡雷纳还是机械舞？凯莉根：无所谓。UED 防御：呃啊！蒙斯克：耶！我又是皇帝了！凯莉根：现在而已……蒙斯克：几个意思？凯莉根：额……你现在是皇帝了。蒙斯克：对！别忘了！凯莉根：脑虫，杜兰。是时候干掉盟友了。我要杜克和菲尼克斯的命。脑虫：所以？我要雷诺的命。凯莉根：太糟了。他是主角。脑虫：杜克和菲尼克斯就不是？凯莉根：你闭嘴。你压根就不是个角色，你是玩家。脑虫：好吧。杜克：呃啊！蒙斯克：(通讯器)我抗议！凯莉根：呵呵。菲尼克斯：呃啊！雷诺：(通讯器)总有一天我会干掉你的。凯莉根：呵呵。我不担心，等暴雪做出第二部再说吧。杜兰：女皇，UED 控制的虫族在攻击我们的哨站！脑虫：我们不是已经干掉他们了么？凯莉根：的确。我想休息一会，但显然每个战役不能少于8个关卡。杜兰：脑虫，我们得马上进——嘿，别吃妙脆角了，干活！脑虫：操。手弄脏了。UED 虫族：呃啊！UED 科学家：呃啊！脑虫：嘿嘿。我们才接着干死了一堆 UED。(We just continUED our onslaught of UED)凯莉根：别让我打你。凯莉根：好了。是时候回到沙库拉斯对付黑暗圣堂武士的首领拉夏格尔了。脑虫：她？她是神族最无聊的角色了！凯莉根：是，但是这一次无聊就是傻逼。看好了。泽拉图：(通讯器)你带走拉夏格尔干嘛？凯莉根：我需要你帮忙——泽拉图：这个战役里面你让人帮忙过多少次，又有多少次你没有背叛帮你的人？凯莉根：呃……我很肯定各两次。泽拉图：那我为什么要帮你？拉夏格尔：因为我这么说了。主宰是我们共同的敌人——泽拉图：这是什么逻辑。你只是觉得“有权的娘们很 cooooool”才帮她！拉夏格尔：嗯。但你反正是个小兵，谁在乎呢？闭嘴动手。泽拉图：(叹)是的女士……主宰：第三次呃啊！泽拉图：好了，照你说的做了。释放拉夏格尔。拉夏格尔：我不想走。我喜欢和虫族一起玩耍。凯莉根：哈！你的领导实在是傻逼到可以随便玩弄啊。泽拉图：你这个臭婊子，你知道的是吧。凯莉根：这是她的错。她低估我了。所有人都低估我了！脑虫：我才没有呢。凯莉根：你不算数。你只是——脑虫：我知道……我知道。杜兰：泽拉图又带走族母了！他们会在三十分钟后逃跑。精确到秒。凯莉根：开始计时。你知道该做什么吧脑虫？脑虫：干掉任何会动的东西。凯莉根：没错。这次别浪费时间杀野生动物了。野生动物：耶！泽拉图：比起让拉夏格尔成为你的奴隶，我宁愿杀了她！凯莉根：好吧。泽拉图：好吧。凯莉根：……你在等什么？你到底要不要动手？泽拉图：噢马上。给我一分钟时间。凯莉根：木哈哈！我无人能敌，整个宇宙都是我的了！蒙斯克：(通讯器)嘿。阿坦尼斯：(通讯器)Yo。杜加尔(通讯器)惊喜吧？脑虫：你的废话大概早了点点。凯莉根：帮我处理这事好吗？谢谢了。脑虫：我猜，这是奶牛关吧？蒙斯克、阿坦尼斯、杜加尔：没有——脑虫：好吧好吧。凯莉根：木哈哈！我可以随便废话了！杜加尔：(叹)如果还有人用得着我的话，我还是对着脑袋开一***得了。凯莉根：看看我的权力！斯大林和希特勒相比之下就像英国皇室一样！脑虫：我不知道。我觉得续集里不会是这么回事。凯莉根：动手吧，暴雪。(暴雪以龟速动手制作续集)[/quote]
第六季打钱关的英雄应该是Fenix而不是Artanis吧
关注1的剧情的人很少了，给楼主点赞这个传送门效果也不错 都给翻译了[url]/v_show/id_XMjE1NzE4MjM2.html?f=6010725[/url]
第七季第八季也要加进来啊
剧情快忘得差不多了，就记得吉米那颗硕大的光头。还有百攻泽拉图，40攻塔萨达。求速更。
[quote][pid=82323,1]Reply[/pid] [b]Post by [uid=]近卫Sama[/uid] ( 20:52):[/b]剧情快忘得差不多了，就记得吉米那颗硕大的光头。还有百攻泽拉图，40攻塔萨达。求速更。[/quote]Tassadar是20攻……距离很近的远程……
LZ给力啊别TJ了
不錯，值得一頂~ 保持關注
楼主我想知道这些对话以何种方式才能在战役中出现？
[quote][pid=82323,1]Reply[/pid] [b]Post by [uid=5531840]zeroingyx[/uid] ( 09:45):[/b]楼主我想知道这些对话以何种方式才能在战役中出现？[/quote]这是对战役内容的吐槽。。
[quote][pid=82323,1]Reply[/pid] [b]Post by [uid=483634]upstone[/uid] ( 12:10):[/b]这是对战役内容的吐槽。。[/quote]如此啊……我还纳闷为什么隐藏剧情的槽点这么“流行”呢……楼主辛苦了[s:ac:赞同]
我来催更了 - -
[b]Reply to [pid=82323,1]Reply[/pid] Post by [uid=1919230]瓦莲莉娅[/uid] ( 15:40)[/b]这……我看的时候一定是自动脑补 Fenix 了……
[b]Reply to [pid=82323,1]Reply[/pid] Post by [uid=483634]upstone[/uid] ( 09:57)[/b]如你所愿。翻译战斗力就这样了……
多还念啊……想当年还是小屁孩，打战役都不看剧情，就看有没有白色框框的单位可以拉出去浪……