为什么女人离不开性幻想
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为什么女人离不开性幻想
&&&&&& 为什么女人离不开性幻想作者：Dr.Logan Levkoff
I've been having sexual fantasies for as long as I can remember. When I was in the fourth grade, I dreamed that I was making out with Christie Brinkley on top of my desk. By middle school, I was fantasizing about the athletics director at my sleep away camp. And today, I still have torrid dreams about Huey Lewis (yes, that Huey Lewis). However, it sometimes seems as if it is more taboo to talk about our fantasies now, as an adult, even though we should feel free to express that which turns us on, both mentally and physically. Fantasies are an essential part of our sexuality, but for some reason, we are almost paralyzed by them and what they may mean about us.
& & 打我能记事起，性幻想就一直存在着。当时，我还只是一个小学四年级的学生，就梦到自己和Christie Brinkley在课桌上***。到中学，有一次露营，熟睡的我想到了任课的体育老师。直至今日，我还会幻想自己和Huey Lewis火热亲密。但是，性幻想更像是一种禁忌，成年人都不太愿意谈论它们，尽管说出这些内容，精神和肉体上获得的释放，会让人倍感轻松。性幻想是性的基本组成部分，但出于某些原因，它的重要性几乎被人们忽视了。
Perhaps you will be surprised to know that Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb recently proved my point. I appeared on their hour of The Today Show to talk about my latest book, "How to Get Your Wife to Have Sex with You." Midway through the interview I told the hosts that many of us make assumption we don't realize what a rich fantasy life the other one has. I said that one of the more exciting aspects of working on this book was in discussing sexual fantasies -- more importantly, the amazing range of sexual fantasies that women have.& & 听到这个消息，你或许会很惊讶，Kathie Lee Gifford 和 Hoda Kotb 在不久前，证实了我以上的观点。那天，我出席了他们主持的“今日秀”节目，并谈到了自己的最新力作《如何让你的妻子与你***》。节目中间的采访，我告诉他们，很多人会猜度自己的伴侣，因为他们不知道自己另一半之所“想”。我之前说过，这本书讨论性幻想的部分，会更引起读者的兴趣，而重中之重，则是对女性性幻想内容范围的讨论，范围之广，令人“咋舌”。
I began to explain that I asked hundreds of women about their fantasies and received wonderful responses. That's when I was interrupted.& & 当我正准备向大家讲解，从数百名女性那里询问并获得的关于她们性幻想经历的时候，Hoda打断了我。
"Are (these women) slutty?" Hoda asked.& & “这些女人都很***对吧？” Hoda问道。
Kathie Lee answered, "Total sluts."& & Kathie Lee 回答说：“统统都是***吧。”
My brain froze. Wait -- what? The whole point of this conversation was to get women to feel empowered so that they could share their fantasies with their partners. Now they're being called sluts? (And besides, if you've read any of my work, you know that I have a visceral reaction to the word.)& & 我顿时一愣。等等----什么？这次采访，我要树立的观点，便是要让女人知道，自己有权与老公分享她们的性幻想，而你们却称她们是***？
"Hardly," I replied, and wearing a smile that concealed my frustration, I continued, "It's amazing what a working mom or a stay at home mom can fantasize about in her spare time."& & “一派胡言，没有人是***。” 我回答道，面带微笑，掩饰着不解，继续道，“关于一个职业女性，抑或一位家庭主妇，闲暇之余所做的性幻想，大家听过之后，想毕都会感到吃惊。”
Now, maybe the hosts were trying to be funny. Maybe. But even if someone thinks that it is remotely funny to call women who have sexual fantasies "sluts," we have a serious problem. Not to mention, we're all screwed, 'cause we've all got them.& & 其实刚刚，我猜，主持人是希望让气氛变得更有趣，才那样半开玩笑地说的吧。即便有人认为，那样称呼女性为“***”并不好笑，但我们女人还真的算是遇上大“麻烦”了，因为大家都有性幻想，都身陷里面“醉”得不清呢。
Let me clear things up. Other than our skin, our brains are the biggest sex organ we have. We are supposed to use them. We are supposed to have an active fantasy life. Sexual fantasies do not make us sluts. Nor do they suggest that we have trouble in our current relationship. Fantasies make us healthy sexual beings. (Besides, would KLG and Hoda label men who talk openly about their sexual desires? I think not. They'd chalk it up to "being a man.") They are our mind's way of exploring that which we may or may never do in real life. They can be short images or long, drawn out narratives of things outside the realm of our everyday life -- or actual past experiences. Either way, our brain is telling us that we can turn on to that is exciting.& & 让我来解释一下吧：不同于我们的皮肤，大脑是女性最大的性***，我们理所当然要使用它，产生类似的幻想也就不足为奇。有性幻想，并不意味着我们就成了***，也无法表明我们现阶段的夫妻关系出现问题，它只会使性事朝健康的方向发展，（再说了，你认为KLG 和 Hoda 会把那些公开谈论性欲的男人分门别类么？我认为不会吧。她们会说，男人就是这样的。）它们只不过是，对现实生活中我们可以或无法企及的想法，思维形式的“穿梭”而已。这些幻想可能是一些或长或短的影像，它们是从突破了日常生活格局的事物中抽取出来的片段，或是过去的经历本身。无论哪一种，大脑总在告诉我们要接纳这些性幻想，这些幻想令人兴奋。
The point I was trying to make on-air was that when we're in a long term relationship (gay, straight, whatever), we start to assume that our partner knows everything about us -- and vice versa. We believe that we can anticipate his/her every need. But that's just not true. In fact, it's impossible. We evolve, and our fantasies do, too. I'm not even sure that we realize how varied and x-rated our partner's thoughts can actually be.& & &节目中我想要表达的观点其实是这样的：当我们处于一段长期的关系时，应该开始让另一半知道所有关于自己的事情，反之亦然。我们要坚信自己可以洞察到他/她的所有需要，但这也是不真实的。事实上，也无法做到。人类在进化，我们的幻想也同样在进化，我甚至不太敢相信，另一半的性幻想，竟可以如此的限制级和富有变化。
Yet we are so hesitant to share our fantasies. Why? Well, we are afraid of judgment. Afraid of being called a slut or deviant or sick. Afraid that our partners or our friends might think less of us (even though they're probably just as imaginative as we are).
& &但是，我们却很犹豫要不要分享这些性幻想，这是为什么呢？说到底，还是因为我们害怕被他人品头论足，怕别人说自己是***、不正常、很恶心，怕另一半和好友会看轻自己。（即便他们也有同样的想法）&&
So to honor the women I interviewed, and many of you who have a rich fantasy life of your own, let me present some of what came up in my interviews. It's not like you weren't wondering, right?
&♀&&照片：女性的九大性幻想&&
Sex With A Celebrity
1 &和名人***
Sex With A Woman
2 &和女人***（女同性恋）
Sex With The Barista At Starbucks Who Is Of Indeterminate Gender
3 &和星巴克的咖啡师***（咖啡师的性别含糊）
A Threesome With George Clooney And Angelina Jolie
4 & 与乔治?克鲁尼和安吉丽娜?朱莉玩3P
Sex With A Stranger5 &与陌生人***
Being Dominated
Dominating Your Partner
Sex In A Public Place
8 &公共场所***
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