帮俺修改一下作文,各位大侠帮我看看啦春 城关镇中心小学 六（2）班 张文华以前,我从不在意春天,就好像人要吃饭睡觉那样,很普普通通.对于那些写四季的作文,我甚至有时会觉得他们很无聊.但到了今年我留了心后,发现四季的美无法体现在书中的铅字中,而需要自己的留心观察,就像那刚发芽的嫩绿的柳叶,用心感受一下,就会感受到一种愉悦,舒服,好像那绿叶是一种神奇的药,看看,就会忘掉所有的烦恼.春的气息是令人舒心而缓慢的.就像那小草,虽然很小,但是它会让你感受到春的气息是生机勃勃的.刚出来的小草芽,能让人联想到小草在土里努力生根、努力发芽、努力长大,那种勃勃的春天,还会让你联想到大自然的一幅幅绿色的草原,蓝色的天空,和那天空上的朵朵白云.春的气息是清爽而又滋润的.想起那春雨下的翠绿、墨绿、葱绿、碧绿、孔雀绿??????也许只有画家才知道这么多的绿色,但在滋润的春雨下,比这多的多的绿色呈现在了你的眼前.这场绿的盛宴过后,草和柳树、杨树、白桦树、松树、槐树??????都抽出了新的枝丫.一阵春风过后,吹掉了烦恼、怨气,吹来了生气、吹来了活力.我写完了作文,到门口走走,原来,春天就在我身边.春风摇摆着千万条还带着柳絮的风筝,空气中飘散着花的味道,草的味道,令人愉悦!在这也给没回答的我这个问题，却感兴趣的朋友们提个醒，作文完全出于真情实感，你们也别像一楼那样拍马屁，额一楼，我的意思是说大家也养像我一样，写出真情实感。
楼上的修改作文我就不吐槽了,直接说你的作文,我不帮你修改,直接进行点评.一句话,全文略微做作不真诚,没有什么中心思想可言,有种看完了等于没看.文笔还是差强人意的.拿第一段来说,简直太做作了,我深刻明白楼主是小学生,其实根本没有觉得春天是怎么样的好,这篇作文不过是老师要求写所以就随便写,可是既然要我点评,那我就忽视你的主观意愿,直接点评.第一句话就很怪,不在意春天,怎么就像人要吃饭和睡觉一样普通?表达有误,你把整个句子简化看看,变成了我不在意春天很普通?我不在意春天像吃饭睡觉普通?所以,你可以这么说,我不在意春天,是因为春天很平常很普通,就像吃饭睡觉已经成了我们的一部分却没有人会去在意吃饭睡觉的由来一样.另外,进入剧情太快了,为什么你今年就突然留了心呢,简单说下原因吧,前一刻还觉得无聊的你后一刻就留心了.四季的美体现在书中的铅字?究竟是谁体现谁?应当是铅字体现四季美,铅字是用来体现四季美的,而非四季美体现铅字,所以你可以这么说,书中的铅字不足以体现四季美,不是无法体现,是不足以.第一段最做作的就是最后一句,像那刚发芽的嫩绿的柳叶,用心感受一下,就会感受到一种愉悦,舒服,好像那绿叶是一种神奇的药,看看,就会忘掉所有的烦恼.完全有错误,首先,读者会莫名其妙,看一下叶子就会感受到愉悦?老实说让我看上一个小时我都不会有愉悦的感觉,明显作者在说谎,根本没有真实体验,所以才说这么奇怪的话.春天之所以迷人之所以可以让众多作家一直写这个话题而不感到无聊,其实是因为春天背后蕴含的意义,我打个比方,当你心情很不好的时候,你看到了那刚发芽的绿叶,就会有感而发,其实一切都可以重新开始,没有那么糟糕,冬天过后春天必来（会这么想的一般都是读文科）,就是这样,并非是看到绿而悦,而是看到它背后的涵义.后者的比喻更加可笑,像神奇的药?看看,就可以忘掉烦恼?天底下有什么药可以光看就起到效果的?不要这么神奇好吧.中间一段不吐槽了,没什么好说的.很虚就是了.不过也算尽力描写,还是可以接受的.我写完了作文,到门口走走,原来,春天就在我身边.春风摇摆着千万条还带着柳絮的风筝,空气中飘散着花的味道,草的味道,令人愉悦!这是最后一段,这个要说一下,你发现春天就在身边,这个不是从一开始你就知道了吗,正是因为太身边了所以一开始你不在意不是这样吗?前后矛盾,千万条...风筝?太恐怖了.最后一段也没有很好地点明文中思想,应当在最后一段对全文进行总结,这样会更好.最后我想说,我的点评会略微严格一点,因为我没有把这篇文当作小学生写的作文来看,顶多当初中高中作文来看,因为我不知道好的小学生作文是怎么样的,太久没接触.所以点评严格的地方多见谅,要说文中尚且值得一夸的,应该就是中间两段了,看得出来还是有用心写的,希望你再接再厉.
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建议你读一下朱自清的春
很普普通通的很不要
网友您好！我试改之，望批评：
以往，我并不在意春天，因为它的存在像人吃饭睡觉般是那么的平常自然。关于四季的作文，我甚至觉得百无聊赖。但今年我开始留意了，发现四季的美是无法用书本和笔墨来体现的，需要自己细心的观察【。】【破土而出的嫩芽，碧绿摇曳的枝叶，清新愉悦的空气。这绿色的世界，仿佛有着释放心灵的神奇功效，让人抛开烦恼与忧伤】
春的气息是令人舒心而畅快的。小...
可以借鉴一下嘛
以前，我从不在意春天，就好像人要吃饭睡觉那样，很普通。看着那些写四季的作文，我总是会觉得它们很无聊。但到了今年我留心观察过以后，发现四季的美无法体现在书本的文字中，而是需要自己的观察，就像那刚发芽的嫩绿的柳叶那样，用心感受一下，就会感受到一种愉悦，舒服，好像那绿叶是一种神奇的药，看看，就能忘掉所有的烦恼。
春的气息是令人舒心而缓慢的。就像那小草，虽然很小，但是它会让你感受到春...
地地道道地地道道地地道道
扫描下载二维码把单词改变一个字母变成我们学过的单词fine(
)hen()at()in()let()look()may()nice()tea()see()there()好同志们帮帮俺吧
套套爱边缘0543
fine( find)hen(men)at(an)in(on)let(lea)look(book)may(man)nice(nick)tea(sea)see(sea)there(therm)不知道可以不
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fine的f改为m
hen的h改为t
at的a改为i
let的l改为s
look的l改为cmay的y改为n
nice的i改为a
tea的a改为e
see的改为t
there的r改为s
ninetenitanlegbookmanricetenbeewhere
扫描下载二维码哪位好心人帮俺修改一下英文演讲稿?Ladies and gentlemen,honored judges:
Good afternoon! I’m very glad to stand here and give you a short speech. my topic is “ordinary position regretless contribution”. I hope you will like it. First, please allow me to introduce myself,my name is xx , working in Shandong xx subsidiary company of Sinopec as an ordinary employee. I’ve been in the company for over six years since I graduated in 2001.Looking back to the work career I went through,I not only experienced the anxiety as a new comer,but also tasted the satisfaction and honor which my work achievement brought. I’ll never forget the scene I cried alone first time because I had to work overtime so that I couldn’t go home for reunion at year-end,never forget the first time I felt depressed for leader’s criticism of my bad job, also never forget the excitation when first time I obtained "the advanced worker" honorary title the trade union awarded.There’re full of complicated feelings inside when I recall past work experience.
I still remember I encountered many difficulties both in my work and life when I firstly came to xx city as a person from other province.The reason was I couldn’t understand local dialect and knew little about the city.During the probation period in gas station,I was so lucky to get station manager and colleagues’ warm help.They could give me patient explanation every time I met the unclear dialect and unknown work method. After gradually overcame the communication barrier, we became forever friends.In the later days, my work positions were changed many times , I met many leaders and colleagues who are always ready to help others, have profound understanding of the company’s human-based management ideas.My brother-in-law will start work this year,ask me how to do a good job in the enterprise.The first advice I give is : Cherish the position, set up the sense of responsibility, complete leaders’ task by the positive attitude, realistic work style and maximum efficiency. My superior gave me similar suggestion when I started my work,but I didn’t figure out thoroughly.I used to deal with the task with careless attitude,so that I couldn’t finish successfully.After obtained leaders’ repeated lecture and colleagues help, I gradually corrected the work manner, understood this motto “If you don’t work hard today, you’ll try hard to look for a new job tomorrow” ,tried to be a sincere man who did things steadfastly, thus my work achievement had a qualitative leap. At present,I am engaged in statistics and information work, responsible to summarize and report company data of
Purchase, Sales and Inventory,collect and compile business information to serve for the policy-making of enterprise leaders.The position is ordinary, but the responsibility is heavy. Although I’m only an ordinary member of Sinopec,I can equally perform the duty honestly and diligently,make contribution to the development of our company! Thank you!
Ladies and gentlemen,honored judges: Good afternoon! I’m glad that I have the chance to stand here and give you a short speech. my topic is “ordinary position regretless contribution”. I hope you will like it. First, please allow me to introduce myself.I am (原文,my name 和working 是不搭配的）xx , an ordinary employee working in Shandong xx subsidiary company of Sinopec . I’ve been in the company for over six years since my graduation in 2001.Looking back into the work career,I not only experienced the anxiety as a new comer,but also tasted the satisfaction and honor coming from my achievement. I’ll never forget the scene I cried alone first time because I had to work overtime. As a result,I couldn’t go home for the reunion at the year- I will never forget the first time I got depressed by the leader’s criti also I will never forget the excitation when,for the first time, I obtained the honorary title of "advanced worker" awarded by the trade union. It's full of bittersweet feeling when I recall my work experience at the company. I still remember the difficulties I met in both my work and life when I first came to xx city. I couldn’t understand the local dialect and knew little about the city. During the probation period in gas station,I was fairly lucky that the station manager and my colleagues help me a lot. Every time they would explain to me patiently the dialect and the new work method. Gradually I overcame the communication barrier, and we became forever friends. In the later days, my work positions were changed many times. I met many leaders and colleagues who are always ready to help others. They all have a profound understanding of the company’s human-based management ideas. My brother-in-law will start working this year,and he asked me how to do a good job in the enterprise.The first advice I gave him is : Cherish the position, set up the sense of responsibility, complete your task by the positive attitude, realistic work style and maximum efficiency. My superior gave me similar suggestions when I began my work, but I didn’t figure out thoroughly.I used to deal with the task with careless attitude, so that I couldn’t finish successfully. Listening to leaders’lectures and owing to the colleagues' help, I gradually corrected the work manner, and fully understood this motto “If you don’t work hard today, you’ll try hard to look for a new job tomorrow”. I tried to be a sincere man who did things steadfastly so that my work achievement had a qualitative leap. At present,I am engaged in statistics and information work, responsible for summarizing and reporting company data of Purchase, Sales and Inventory,collecting and compiling business information to serve the policy-making of leaders.The position is ordinary, but the responsibility is heavy. Although I’m only an ordinary member of Sinopec,I can equally perform the duty honestly and diligently,making contributions to the development of our company! Thank you!因为是演讲辞,建议多采用短句,做了一些细微的修改,希望能帮上忙.
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这是我修改后的稿子，仅供你参考一下，另外我觉得在时态方面应该注意，如果不是特别强调过去的时间或者过去发生的事最好用一般现在时。在演讲的时候请多注意语速，节奏，停顿，激情一点，面带微笑，不要让评委觉得你在做报告，而觉得你是在和他们交谈，多练练对自己的稿子能脱口而出就好！最后，祝你成功！Ladies, gentlemen and honored judges: Good afternoon!...
我可以但是现在没时间了
扫描下载二维码魔兽地图遗失的世界中怎么改触发才能用键盘加属性?_百度知道